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My Fair Lady – in (Postvernacular) Yiddish

6/11/2013

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Picture
by Sarah Bunin Benor

Given that my book includes discussion both of Yiddish and of My Fair Lady (unrelated in the book), I thought readers might be interested in this Yiddish version of My Fair Lady that I wrote several years ago. I later found out that a full version of this play had been produced at some point, but I never managed to get a copy of it. My version is very brief (more like a trailer, mostly songs), and it focuses on the accent differences between the Northeastern and Southern regions of Yiddish: the Litvaks and the Galitsianers.

Characters:
Narrator
Elisheva Tubisl (Eliza Doolittle)
Professor Kluger (Professor Higgins)
Mysterious Man (Freddy)

Narrator:         Elisheva Tubisl is a Galitsianer girl who really wants to be a writer.

Wouldn’t It Be Lovely 
Elisheva (in a Galitsianer accent):

Alts vus ikh vil iz tsi laynen git (all I want is to read well)
Shraabn lider mit git gramatik (write poetry with good grammar)
Tsi shraabn yeydn tug (to write every day)
Se volt gevayn a mekhaye (it would be a pleasure)
Mekhaye, mekhaye (pleasure, pleasure)

Narrator:         So she goes to Vilne to pursue an education. She introduces herself to the renowned Professor Kluger:

Elisheva:         Shulem alaykhem, Profesor Kliger. Ikh hays Elisheva Tibisl! (Hello, Professor Kliger. My name is Elisheva Tibisl!)

Kluger (in a Litvak accent):  Neyn, neyn, Elisheva Tubisl. Du darfst redn a gut yidish, azoy vi ikh, Profesor Kluger. Zog mir nokh: Dos sheyne meydl geyt aheym aleyn. (No, no, Elisheva Tubisl. You have to speak a good Yiddish, like I, Professor Kluger, do. Repeat after me: The pretty girl goes home alone.)

Elisheva:         Dus shayne maydl gayt ahaym alayn. (The pretty girl goes home alone – [in a Galitsianer accent])

Kluger:            Neyn, neyn, neyn. Dos sheyne meydl geyt aheym aleyn. (No, no no. …)

Elisheva:         Dus hob ikh gezugt. Dus shayne maydl gayt ahaym alayn.

Kluger:            Neyn, neyn, neyn. Nokh a mol. Dos sheyne meydl geyt aheym aleyn.

Elisheva:         Dus shayne maydl gayt ahaym alayn.

Narrator:         They work, and they practice, and finally:

Elisheva:         Dos sheyne meydl geyt aheym aleyn. ([In a Litvak accent])

Kluger:            Vos? Vos hostu gezogt? (What? What did you say?)

Elisheva:         Dos sheyne meydl geyt aheym aleyn.

Kluger:            Ikh meyn az zi hot es! Nokh a mol: (I think she got it! Again:)

The Rain in Spain Stays Mainly in the Plane Eli/Klug:         Dos sheyne meydl geyt aheym aleyn.
Dos sheyne meydl geyt aheym aleyn.
Kluger:            Vu geyt dos meydl sheyn? (Where does the pretty girl go?)
Elisheva:         Aheym, aheym. (Home, home)
Kluger:            Vi geyt zi dokh aheym? (How does she go home?)
Elisheva:         Aleyn, aleyn! (Alone, alone!)
Eli/Klug:         Dos sheyne meydl geyt aheym aleyn.
Eli/Klug:         Dos sheyne meydl geyt aheym aleyn!

Narrator:         Afterwards, Elisheva is exhausted but exhilarated.

I Could Have Danced All Night 
Elisheva:  A gantse tog un nakht (All day and night)
Volt ikh mit im getantst (I would have danced with him)
Un tantsn nokh a mol (And danced some more)
Ikh volt geshtoygn dort (I would have risen there)
Ikh volt gefloygn dort (I would have flown there)
Un tantsn nokh a mol (And danced some more)

Narrator:         But the story doesn’t end there. A mysterious man hears Elisheva’s beautiful Galitsianer accent and falls in love with her. After hearing her speak once, he walks around the university looking for her:

On the Street Where You Live
Man (in a Galitsianer accent):
Oft bin ikh gevayn in dem lern zal (Often have I been in this learning hall)
Ober tumid hob ikh du gehert nor Yidish Klal (But I have always heard only Standard Yiddish)
Itst bin ikh farlibt in a maydl a shayns (Now I’m in love with a beautiful girl)
In ikh vil az zi zol vern maans. (And I want her to be mine)

Narrator:         So what happens? Does Elisheva stay with Kluger? Does she go off with the mysterious man and start a Galitsianer pride movement? To find out, you’ll have to see Der Yidisher Pigmalion: coming soon to a teater (theater) near you.
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